FINDING PEACE IN TURMOIL
People seek peace at one time or the other in their lives. Peace could mean different things to different people, but peace is very important in the lives of individuals or that of a community. Nations seek peace and pursue it. It is often said that there cannot be development without peace in a nation, although, it sometimes sounds hypocritical when politicians say this. However, it underscores the importance of peace in the life of an individual or that of a nation.
We all go through different experiences: some pleasant and others might not be so pleasant. In fact, some could be especially torrid and harsh. In every of such situations, our lives often desire peace and homeostasis. Horatio Gates Spafford, an American lawyer and Presbyterian Church elder wrote the song, “When Peace Like a River” in 1873 after The Great Chicago Fires destroyed his Estate Business in 1871 and he lost his four daughters in a shipwreck in 1873. Historical accounts have it that he received inspiration for the song when his ship passed by the spot where his daughters had died, while he was on his way to England to meet his wife, who was the only one who survived the accident. The inspiration could have come from a dire need for peace and homeostasis in his life.
The Cambridge English Dictionary describes turmoil “as a state of great disturbance, confusion, or uncertainty.” What comes to one’s mind when someone is said to be in a state of turmoil includes, confusion, commotion, disquiet, agony and/or extreme agitation. Turmoil occurs when one is least prepared for it and it comes in many forms: the death of a loved one; accidents resulting in fatal or serious injuries; disappointment from a family member such as a spouse, sibling or any close family member or friend. All these could create turmoil for an individual or a family. Turmoil could be a state of emotional, physical and/ or mental despair. It is simply a place of discomfort. As it is often said, the absence of war is not peace; so also, the absence of physical distress peace does not mean peace for an individual.
When an individual is going through a harrowing experience or turmoil, the first reaction by family or friends is to introduce such a person to counseling. This is good and desirable as long as a conversation can calm the turbulence in the life of such a person. However, the individual going through the turmoil must first be ready for such a conversation. What the person might really need as a starter is to be left alone. Leaving the individual alone allows the person to run out the emotions surrounding the turmoil or turbulence, although it is equally important that the individual should be observed from time to time, so as to avoid personal hurt or danger. When an individual experiencing turmoil is not ready for a conversation about it, engaging in one will be fruitless and least helpful.
As stated above, the first step towards finding peace in a turmoil is to have a conversation with yourself. This is sometimes difficult to do, but you have to create your own path to peace. Every individual has a role to play in creating peace in their lives. More importantly, however, is the need for an individual to allow God to bring peace into their lives. God said: “…my peace I give to you: not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid”, (John 14:27). Although individual effort is required of every individual, it is clearly stated here that God is the Author of peace. The psalmist also recognizes this in Psalm 23:5, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over”. The psalmist is speaking of an unusual calmness in a tumultuous situation.
Another path to peace is forgiveness. This may appear so insignificant, but forgiveness brings a lot of peace to one’s heart. A person must learn and be willing to forgive others; in the same way, one must learn to forgive him or herself. Learning to let go brings peace. One of the discoveries of modern age is that people are sometimes too hard on themselves. You don’t have to be perfect all the time; you don’t even need to be because nobody is. Allow yourself to learn from the mistakes you have made; it is a necessary part for growth and development. A friend once told me that he cannot hire someone who says he or she has never made a mistake.
Finally, individuals need to develop ability for tolerance and endurance. People need to develop the capacity for tolerance of ambiguity and/or things that do not appear to make sense to the individual. Endurance is needed to persevere through sometimes difficult situations. As stated earlier, we all go through challenging times at one time or the other. Endurance helps us to navigate these moments. In addition, if there is the need for an individual to give him or herself some space, please do. If you do not feel like being around somebody or some people, excuse yourself from them. It is good for your peace and mental health.
Most people desire peace; they seek it; they pursue it. But do they work for it? Finding peace, whether in turmoil or at other times requires a personal effort. Peace may not just descend on an individual; people have to work for it and it is attainable when we do so.
Dahunsi Ogunleye